Seventeen Bottles of Lotion (are you kidding me?)

My husband is perplexed that I want to write about the crap I am digging up in our home. He can’t imagine that I am not embarrassed by this stuff. I haven’t been, until today. The bathroom cabinet was worse than I imagined. I pulled everything out of only one shelf in one cabinet, grouped it by product, and here is what I found:

• 2 bottles of mouthwash
• 4 contact lens cases
• 4 boxes of contact lenses
• 10 bottles of hair product
• 17 bottles of lotion
• 5 bars of soap
• 2 boxes of bath oil beads
• A jar full of buttons
• 2 boxes full of old makeup (I won’t even bother to inventory)
• 3 deodorants
• 2 bags of cosmetic sponge wedges
• A box of Crest Whitestrips
• A package of 8 purse size packages of Kleenex
• A Hairdini (don’t ask)
• An Epilady (this was invented by the Marquis de Sade)
• 2 loofah sponges
• A box of Off! Towelettes
• A bottle of rubbing alcohol
• A blow-dryer diffuser
• 3 pumice stones
• A bottle of nail polish remover
• A box of nail polish remover pads
• A tube of toothpaste
• A 6-step nail buffing kit
• A disposable razor
• A basket containing fingernail paraphernalia – to include 24 bottles of nail polish, 6 fingernail files, a nail buffer, cuticle cream, 5 cuticle sticks, a tube of cuticle gel, manicure scissors, 4 fingernail clippers, 1 toenail clipper, a package of silk nail wrap and super glue
• 2 pocket knives
• 11 loose Band-Aids
• 4 books of matches
• A cosmetics bag

Oh my God! All of this was on one shelf. No wonder I keep buying stuff – I can’t find what I already own. I have tossed what I don’t need, arranged the rest of it neatly on the shelf and sworn not to buy another bottle of lotion until these are depleted.