Why I Can't Let Go

Having breezed through the hall closet top shelf yesterday, I decided to tackle the second shelf today. Again – there was not too much “stuff” on the shelf, but again – it was hard to make decisions regarding what to keep and what to throw away or donate.

• Three rain ponchos (it is important to note that my city’s annual rainfall is approximately 15 inches and we usually get 2/3 of that in one day) – KEEP 1, DONATE 2
• 12 child-size plastic coat hangers, 6 pink, 6 blue – DONATE
• An awesome black messenger bag - KEEP – if the awesome black messenger bag I am currently employing as a briefcase ever wears out (doubtful) I will have a replacement
• A pair of fairy wings. Not actual fairy wings, but costume fairy wings made out of wire and netting and glitter and sequins. This is a really tough call – KEEP – (the whole scavenger hunt thing from yesterday’s blog)
• A Zip-lock storage bag full of bungee cords – KEEP – take to lake house where the need for bungee cords is greater
• Three porcelain Mardi Gras clown dolls from New Orleans – DONATE (only after first checking with daughters to make sure it is okay)
• Another Zip-lock storage bag containing a set of International Converter Adaptors with Pouch – Royal Traveller (package spelling, not mine) by Samsonite – KEEP – God forbid I should ever get a chance to travel internationally and be caught with out plug adaptors for my blow dryer.
• A plastic zipper bag containing a comforter, bedding, dust ruffle, curtains, and throw pillows from daughter #2’s room several incarnations ago – KEEP*

*This is why I can’t bring myself to part with the bag of bedroom linen:

In 1997, according to detailed records I still have, I spent roughly $5,000 to decorate my then ten year old daughter’s room. I remember vividly shopping for furniture, making a grid on graph paper, cutting out little to-scale replicas of all of the furniture to make sure everything would fit, selecting the paint colors, and finally pulling it all together with the perfect fabrics – bed linen and curtains. For a few sweet, wonderful years my precious daughter had a beautiful room. AND THEN – she turned into a teenager. The floral bedspread was exchanged for a blanket with the image of a punk-rock band. The cheery paint, so painstakingly selected, was covered from floor to (and including the) ceiling by black paint, the walls were covered with posters of tattooed, barely clad young men and my sweet daughter was replaced by a surly replica of her former self. For the duration of her teen years I endured loud music, slammed doors, purple hair and missed curfews. I am happy to report we both survived her teen years. Now, in her twenties, I am thankful for the opportunity to know this awesome adult I had a small part in shaping.

The floral comforter is staying as a reminder of the sweet little girl who once loved Tweety Bird and wore baseball caps and friendship bracelets. I am keeping it to remember the $5,000 was not a re-decorating expense, but an investment in the future of my ten year old daughter. I am keeping it to remind me that somewhere inside my smart, independent, beautiful twenty-something daughter there is possibly a bit of that ten year old who might, on occasion, still need her mom.