Countdown

Cancer Diary

Countdown

Tonight is my last chemo pill for a month/4weeks/28 days. I’m pretty excited about not scheduling my evening meal early in order to take my antiemetic (aka - anti nausea) an hour after eating and an hour before taking my chemo. Timers have become a big part of my life. I will go back on a stronger chemo pill after the first of the year. Imagine my surprise when I just learned I’ve been on “chemo-lite.” Apparently one is not given the “big ass chemo” while also getting radiation. This is one of many examples of THINGS I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT CANCER. Maybe I was told and just didn’t process this tidbit, or perhaps this tidbit was on a need to know basis? Whatever, I’m excited about getting a month off, but at the same time I'm dreading the full dose of chemo I’ll start after the break. 

I only have two more radiation appointments. On Wednesday I will get to ring the bell. I’ve know about cancer patients ringing the bell - but (and this is a BIG but), I always thought ringing the bell meant one was cured. Silly me. It is a recognition of having completed a grueling treatment. I’m thrilled to be almost finished with radiation and I’ll happily ring the bell even if it doesn’t mean what I thought. 

I will admit that radiation kicked my ass. I have often used the expression of feeling like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck to describe feeling tired. I will admit I have never fully understood that expression. Now I know! I am embarrassed to complain about feeling bone-tired when so many other patients I see at the cancer center are experiencing symptoms that are far worse than fatigue. 

Now that I can see the treatment finish line, what’s next? First I recover from treatment. The timing couldn’t be better. I’m hoping I’ll have my energy back and will be able to fully participate in the Christmas festivities. I’m hoping I’ll be able to fully participate in day-to-day life. 

Second order of business is to figure out my next treatment option. I may have a choice of two options. I am waiting to be assessed for eligibility for an immunotherapy trial. Or I might choose to go with the next “standard of treatment” which is called an Optune Hat. Here’s an internet AI explanation: 

The Optune cap is a wearable medical device for treating glioblastoma (GBM), a serious brain cancer, using Tumor Treating Fields (TTFields) to disrupt cancer cell division. It looks like a mesh or electrode-lined cap worn on a shaved head for at least 18 hours daily, delivering low-intensity alternating electric fields that target fast-growing cancer cells while sparing healthy brain cells. Common side effects include scalp irritation, with benefits shown in extending survival when used with chemotherapy.  

I’ve got a month off to rest, heal, research, and make a decision about next treatment. I will also be spending time with family and friends. Frank and I are planning a beach trip. We are staying in Texas. We had a trip planned to Mexico, but I’m not comfortable leaving the country. I have PTSD from taking my cousin to an alternative cancer treatment center in Juarez, having a medical emergency, and trying to get out of the country and back to the U.S. for medical care. 

I am so grateful to everyone who has held me and my family in their good wishes, thoughts, prayers. I’m grateful for all of the messages and sweet gestures. I am grateful that you are accompanying me on this journey. Let’s countdown together and then get back to enjoying this wonderful life we’ve been given.