Kindness

Since the terrorist attacks in Paris there has been nothing but bad news on my horizon. Everyday when I turn on the television (which I’m doing less and less), or when I catch BBC news on NPR on my car radio, or read the newspaper, or open my computer to social media I learn of some new despicable act perpetrated by “bad guys” on the rest of the world. I am down. I am sad. I am scared.

Then things hit home in a personal way. My father-in-law died last week, on my birthday. He had been heroically battling cancer, and seemed to be doing a valiant job. My husband and I visited him last month and felt that the most recent chemotherapy had bought him some time. But, alas, as cancer will do, he was struck by an associated side effect; he developed a blood clot and was brought down by a massive stroke. At least, we tell ourselves, he didn’t suffer through a debilitating and dignity-robbing end of life experience from the cancer.

The past week has included early morning risings for early morning flights, three different hotels in two different cities, two funeral services 250 miles apart, lots of unknown relatives, tears, comforting, facing old wounds, and exhaustion. In short, it has been grueling.

Today we arrived home tired, a bit loopy, and confused about how to proceed with the work of settling an estate. Even though we’d been pre-occupied with dire family matters the woes of the world were still there just waiting for me when I opened a week's worth of newspapers my next door neighbor had collected for me. Things – my life, my world, my outlook, my mood, were low.

The first task upon arriving home was to pick up my dogs at the kennel where they were boarded while we were out of town. The kennel owner, Kelley, is a military veteran so I told her about the beauty of my father-in-law’s military graveside service as I was writing a check for payment. I asked how much I owed her and her reply was, “Nothing, it’s on me.” I was shocked and my husband tried to argue with her, but she got her way by playing the I’m-the-owner-of-the-kennel-card.

What a kind and meaningful gesture for her to make. I know she did it because she is a genuinely good person and because she wanted to express her sympathy and her condolences. But, little does she know that she did so much more than that. She planted a seed of hope in my sad heart. She made me realize that there are always good people to shine a light no matter how much darkness is in your life. Her light illuminated all of the other kindnesses I have been shown all week. The neighbor who took care of my mail and newspapers, the hotel clerk who gave me a hug and a bottle of cold water when we checked in late at night, the relatives I’d never met who hosted a beautiful lunch after the graveside service, my daughter who flew from New York with my ten month old grandson so she could comfort her daddy, the laughter I shared with Gwen, my father-in-law’s companion of twenty years, as she told me stories of their life together, and so many more acts of love and kindness that I was on the verge of overlooking because of  “the state of the world.”

Things are bad right now; my heart is still heavy with loss and with fear. But the generosity and care of another human, of a kind and gentle soul changed me today. Thank you Kelley, you have no idea how far reaching your kindness will ripple. I will pass it on!