Father's Day

I’m thinking a lot about dads this week because of Father’s Day. I know some pretty amazing dads beginning with my own father. He was a strict man, but a loving one. He believed strongly in “spare the rod and spoil the child,” but when I think of my father I can’t recall one spanking. Don’t think for a second it was because I didn’t receive my fair share of corporal punishment. I just can’t recall any specific spanking because that was just part of my childhood, a happy childhood I must add. If/when I did something wrong I got a talking to and if the transgression was worthy of it a spanking usually followed. Did I consider this abuse? Of course not. I considered it a deterrent to repeating wrong behavior. Did I think my father was mean? No, in fact, I knew he loved me unconditionally. I tried extra hard to be a good child so as not to disappoint him. Even when I was well past the age of spankings I was dissuaded from bad behavior because I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment in my father’s eyes. I miss him terribly and thank him for loving me and raising me to be who I am today.

My husband, the father of my children, was not the strict disciplinarian my father was, yet our children were well behaved and respected him. He is the best father I could imagine for our daughters. Gentle and wise, kind and patient, always giving of himself, he is the “good cop” to my “bad cop” when it comes to parenting. He is the parent my children seek out first in a crisis or with good news and I love him all the more because of it. They know he loves them more than anything or anyone in this world. They know that is what it means to be a good parent.

There is a new father in my life, my daughter’s husband, the father of my six month old granddaughter. I can already tell he will be an excellent father. The way he lights up when he sees her, and vice-versa. The way she calms when he sings to her and the way he sings to her. The cute games they play – the peek-a-boo-where’s-Evelyn-blanket game. And the way he is making a secure home and future for her. I know my granddaughter, like me and her mother, hit the daddy-jackpot.

What do these men have in common? Each with their own parenting styles, each with their own ways and beliefs. They share the most important quality a father can possess. The thing that makes them all stellar fathers is the love and respect they have for the mother of their children. On this Father’s Day I honor you and I thank you, the three most important fathers in my life.