Anthropomorphism

I began a vocabulary blog this year: Doireallywanttoincreasemyvocabulary.blogspot.com
I got a little carried away with today's word.

Anthropomorphism – n. the attributing of human shape or characteristic to a god, animal, or inanimate thing.

Good morning hair. Why have you betrayed me?

What do you mean, why have I betrayed you? You’re the one who has denied me!

I haven’t denied you. How could I deny you? You’re right there on top of my head. I spend more time and money on you than on any other part of myself.

You only think about me because you don’t like me and you only spend money on me trying to change me.

Well, you changed first. You betrayed me by turning gray, by thinning and losing the luster you once had.

Hello, that’s called aging, you twit. All hair does that. It is normal, the natural progression.

Did you just call me a twit? Oh – no – you – didn’t! And what do you mean, “It’s normal, natural?” Says who? I don’t want to be gray. I tried it once, remember?

Yes, it felt wonderful; wonderful to be free to be myself.

You may have felt wonderful, but I looked like shit! Everyone advised against it. Everyone begged me to change it. “Go back to your normal color,” they pleaded.

Guess what? Gray is your normal color!

I don’t have to listen to this. My normal color is brown; a beautiful, chestnut brown with gold and red highlights that become more pronounced in the sun.

You’ve been reading too many Miss Clairol boxes. Your hair is now gray, admit it. Do you think by denying me you are stopping the aging process? Have you talked to your face lately, or any part of your body? You are getting old, sweetheart, no matter what color you try to pretend I am.

Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I know I’m aging and no, I’m not trying to stop the aging process. You can’t really do that can you? And leave my face and body out of this, they’re doing just fine.

I’m just saying…

Oh, shut up! Who asked your opinion anyway?

If I recall, you brought up this whole conversation.

Well, drop it before I cut you off and buy a wig or resort to wearing scarves. I think I could really pull off the gypsy look, what do you think?

No comment.