Cancer Diary
My Very Own Disco Ball on What Would be my Daddy’s 100th Birthday
On September 10, 2025 my father would have turned 100. Sadly he died at the age of 68. I turned 68 last November and I’ve been consciously aware that I’ve been given more years than either of my parents. My mother died at 57. When I turned 57 I dedicated that year to living my best life in honor of my mother; I went the whole year without alcohol, I said yes to anything involving family, and I relished time with friends. This year I’ve tried to do the things my father would have enjoyed had he lived beyond 68; I traveled, spent time with family, and tried to develop a few new hobbies. So, that’s my history with my parents dying young (ish) and why I’m mentioning the day my dad would have turned 100. That’s the day my life took a turn, that’s the day I got my very own disco ball.
Let me explain. On September 10th I had a dermatologist appointment, so I had to get up, showered, and dressed a little earlier than my retirement life normally calls for. While in the shower I suddenly began experiencing a disco ball light show. Fabulous prisms of white light in my left eye. Even with my eyes closed the flashing lights did not cease. Was I having a 1970’s flashback? I was afraid I was experiencing what might be the beginning of a detached retina. I was unsure about driving, so my husband drove me to my dermatologist appointment, (which is the subject of a future story), and then directly to the office of my retinal specialist, where I was immediately ushered into an exam room. After an hour of extensive tests, photos of the inside of my eyeball, and consultation with the doctor, it was determined that I was having ocular migraines. Wow, fun for me!
In the meantime, my husband and I were in a pretty demanding training program to become CASA volunteers, which required a lot of reading and computer work. My very own disco ball was not taking a rest. I was experiencing what I now thought was an ocular migraine pretty often and for longer periods of time. And when I wasn’t having the disco ball flashing, I noticed that the peripheral vision in my left eye was gone. I figured this out at the grocery store when I panicked because my husband suddenly disappeared and he was just standing behind me and to my left. I soldiered on, but made another appointment with the retinal specialist, had another extensive exam, and still no concrete answers. I got in with my primary care physician and she couldn’t explain what was happening either, but she did order some additional testing that would take place the following week once I returned from a planned trip to Atlanta, Georgia to attend my goddaughter’s wedding.
Flying to Atlanta by myself was an experience because I was now partially blind in my left eye and was still rocking the disco ball. I changed planes in DFW, navigated the Atlanta airport, met my sister at her gate, and got to Gainesville for the wedding. It was a wonderful weekend of festivities and family, but the flashing lights and diminished vision plagued me the whole time. I was worried about getting home by myself, and my sister even offered to fly home with me, but I made it alone - a feat I’m pretty proud of in hindsight.
My fabulous PCP had me scheduled for an MRI and a Carotid Doppler when I returned home. The doppler showed nothing out of the ordinary, but when the MRI machine opened and the technician helped me out, he informed me that I had an 8:00 a.m. appointment with my PCP the next day. Well shit! That didn’t bode well. The next morning my lovely doctor had to tell me I had a brain tumor. By noon I was checking into the hospital and meeting with a Neurosurgeon. Things moved fast. All because of my very own disco ball on what would have been my daddy’s 100th birthday.

4 comments:
What a shock this must have been for you! I hope that the treatments have helped to control the pain of the " ocular migraines". You are one of the " gift people" I received when I joined Master Gardeners and I have always admired your commitment to whatever you set your hand to. Keeping you in my prayers.
It's a shock how quickly our bodies can take a turn and have the most sudden onset of everything and anything. I have had a more YOLO attitude in my later years as I realize my body could rebel at any moment. I had 'The Year of Yes' last year and tried to say 'yes' to every opportunity placed in front of me as long as it was good for my body and soul. I don't want any more regrets piled onto my little campfire of regrets I have amassed in my 57 years. I know you have done the same and will continue to live your most full life as you fight this unfriendly foe in your brain. I'm praying for you, cousin. Love you.
Jenifer, I will be thinking of you every day and will follow what you can share with us. Peace and love to you.
I am following this blog, dear friend. By the way, I got my cancer in 2017 kinda soon after my CASA court appointment came through and I was on my first case for about six months. I am pretty sure that it was not due to the training, but you never know. I have been a CASA for ten years and that will be my wish for you on this journey. Tim
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