Rumination While Deboning a Costco Rotisserie Chicken

How was my Costco total $352?

How much does a raw whole chicken cost? Surely it’s more than $4.99. How can Costco afford to sell their rotisserie chicken so cheaply? It’s just a ploy to get you in the door. Come for cheap chicken, stay for the expensive nutritional supplements, laundry detergent, dog food, and giant tubs of mayonnaise. 

Are these the chickens that were almost out of date? Chickens they didn’t sell fresh? What’s the shelf life on this chicken?

My dad once told me my mother could get more meat off of a chicken carcass than anyone he knew. From anyone else I’d suspect a double entendre, but he meant it as a sincere compliment. 

As a child my mother could catch a chicken in their yard, break its neck with one quick swing, dress it, and cook it for their family of 12. This is probably why she was so good at picking the meat off the carcass. 

Why do I keep using the word “carcass?”

Did my mother ever know the luxury of a rotisserie chicken? I’ll have to ask my sister if rotisserie chickens were a thing prior to 1991 when our mother died. 

I’m saving the chicken bones in a ziplock bag that I’ll freeze until I have enough to make a batch of bone broth. I’m so frugal. Then how did you spend $352 just now at Costco? 

My mother always said her favorite piece of chicken was the wing. There is little to no meat on these chicken wings! I was a grown-ass adult before I realized my mother didn’t really favor the wing, she just said that so the rest of the family could have the good parts. 

Warm chicken fat is gross. I wonder if it’s a good moisturizer for my hands? Shit, I forgot to buy lotion at Costco. 

How much chicken salad will this make? We may be eating chicken salad all week. What else can I do with this chicken? 

My mother would know.