Sidetracked Home Executive

I retired four years ago to become a stay-at-home-wife or, as I’ve heard it called, a Domestic Engineer (I prefer the term Domestic Goddess). What this means is I no longer get to (have to) get up early, shower, dress, and be at work at a designated hour. I can get up at my leisure, enjoy my coffee, read, write, and do the crossword puzzle. It also means I am the one responsible for making sure we have groceries, washed clothes, and a clean house. I am a housewife and I’m not very good at it.

When I was a young stay-at-home-mom and wife I found an interesting book called Sidetracked Home Executives by sisters Pam Young and Peggy Jones; it soon became my bible. In essence it was a treatise on Adult Attention Deficit Disorder before we knew there was such a thing. By following their “unique, organizational 3x5 index card system” I was able to keep up with my household and my children. Fast forward some twenty-plus years and I find myself in need of the sisters’ counsel once again.

This is what happens when you are a Sidetracked Home Executive: This morning I got the brilliant idea to give the guest room a much needed cleaning. Because there is no other room design option the bed is against a wall of windows. (Yes, I can hear all of the designers out there groaning.) My husband helped me move the bed so I could sweep and mop the hardwood floor underneath the bed. As I began sweeping I realized I should dust the window blinds and sills first. Easy, right? Well… Once I began dusting the blinds I realized I should take down the curtains and wash them. They have been up since we moved in four years ago. I have vacuumed them, but I figured that after four years they probably needed a good cleaning. (Yes, I can hear all of you clean-freaks out there screaming.) Another issue with said curtains is the previous homeowner hemmed them too short and I wanted to remedy that. Out came a ladder and down came the curtains. That is when I realized that the hem job had been done with that iron-on tape. I peeled it apart to discover the bottom edge of the curtain was unfinished. If I attempted to wash them they would unravel.

This is where the sidetracked part really kicks in. In order to avoid miles of linen thread in my washing machine I would have to hem the curtains. Out came the sewing machine. My sewing machine is an archaic mid-century model that requires extreme feats of strength just to get it set up and a PhD in engineering to thread. (You can read more about that here http://cleaninghouseamemoir.blogspot.com/2012/02/sewing-machine.html) Once the sewing machine is in place I realize I also need the ironing board and iron. By this time the guest room is so congested I cannot move through it, but curtains are hemmed and in the washing machine.

I don’t know when I will find time to re-hang the curtains or clean the room because I always prefer to write about cleaning than actually doing it. And, since the sewing machine is out I have mending to do and after that I’m going to find my old copy of Sidetracked Home Executive and see about honing my housekeeping skills, and after that I’ll probably need a nap. It’s a good thing I’ve not made my bed.