Last month I made a post on my social media page that caused
quite the buzz among my friends. I posted that I had hit the sixth month mark
in my year of sobriety. I tried to word it carefully so that no one would get
the idea that I was a recovering alcoholic, but being the excellent writer that
I am – most everyone got the wrong idea. I immediately received a phone call
from Tim in Oregon
asking me what was going on. I got well-meaning replies on Facebook, and lots
of cyber high-fives and encouragement to take it one day at a time. Thank you
everyone. But, just so you know, I’m not an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise.
I turned fifty-seven on November 9, 2013 and
pledged to live a sober year in honor of my mother who died at age fifty-seven.
She died of lung cancer, not alcoholism as some of you inferred. Giving up
alcohol is only one of the things I am doing this year. My intent is to live my
very best year, a year I am living not only for me, but also for my mother who
didn’t get to have her fifty-seventh year.
I came up with this idea shortly before the birthday I had
been dreading since 1991. It is easy to attach a stigma to an age or a date. It
is common knowledge in my family that fifty-seven is not a good year. My
grandfather, my mother, and my uncle all died at that age. Did I think I would
also die? Not the sane, rational part of me, but yet the trepidation was there.
I knew it was inevitable to turn fifty-seven and I did not want to have a
shitty year, so I came up with the idea to turn things around and have the best
possible year.
How does one live their best year? Good question. In my
attempt to figure this out I went away to a Women’s Retreat at a Buddhist
Monastery in California .
Among the redwoods I began to formulate my plan. I made a list of things
important to me. I made a to-do list that very much resembled the New Year’s
resolutions I make every year. Then I came home, turned fifty-seven, and tried
to put it all into action.
How am I doing? Another good question. I have been sober for
seven months and one day. At the end of the year I intend to celebrate with an
extremely good glass of red wine. I am learning lessons about how and why and
when and where to drink. I don’t think I have or had a problem with alcohol,
but I think I might have had I not taken this year to come to terms with it.
The second item on my live-my-best-year list is to spend
more time with family. I am happy to report that I am succeeding at this
also. I have had long trips to New
York to see my oldest daughter, son-in-law, and
granddaughter. I have made several trips to see my youngest daughter in Lubbock . I attended a family wedding. I had a fabulous
paternal cousin reunion in Tyler
in April. Next week I am spending a week at the beach with extended family
followed by a huge family reunion in Austin .
I know my mother would be proud. No one loved a family gathering more than she.
As to the other items on the list – they are works in
progress. I review the list periodically and take baby steps. I am having a
great year and when I turn fifty-eight I intend to have another great year.
This is quite catching. Thank you Mother for continuing to inspire and
influence me. This year is for you and I am enjoying it immensely.
