Countdown to Christmas - Day 6

The perils of holiday weight gain. In October I attended a business conference in New Orleans. One can’t possibly go to New Orleans without gaining weight – it is a physical impossibility. From the moment the plane touched down at Louis Armstrong International I could feel my waistline expanding. Walking through the French Quarter, Hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s, muffulettas at Central Grocery, gumbo, etouffe, boudin sausage, and seafood on every corner, I began to feel like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor morphing into an obese version of myself.

New Orleans was just the beginning. Next came my birthday and two vacation trips – more excuses (as if I need an excuse!) for excessive amounts of food and drink. Then it was Thanksgiving and now December. My goal for December is to not gain another pound.

I will be faced with every form of food temptation this month. My favorite food group is one the USDA has yet to identify, but I’ve know about it since college – Happy Hour Food. The delectable little nibbles on tiny plates, eaten with your fingers, served to counter massive amounts of alcohol. Sweets and savories, this is the food of December. From the office break room to Christmas cocktail parties, Happy Hour Food will reign. Ah, it appears innocent enough – it is all mini. Mini sausages wrapped in biscuits, a miniature cupcake, a wee dab of dip on a tiny cracker, small slices of French bread slathered in butter – what harm is there in such a small bite? I’m here to tell you, Happy Hour Food is big trouble in a little package. Run away when anyone, even your favorite aunt, tells you, “just taste it.” There is no such thing as one taste.

And then there are the spirits. What holiday gathering is without alcohol? (Okay, I’ll rephrase. What holiday gathering that I’m attending is without alcohol?) Beer, wine, fancy cocktails, punch bowls, eggnog, after-dinner liqueurs. I once attended a party where the dessert intoxicated me and I had to phone for a designated driver. Have you ever figured the calorie count in a glass of wine? About one-hundred calories in a small glass. I will be bringing my own bottle to parties this year, my own bottle of sparkling mineral water – nary a calorie to be counted.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to at least hold steady on the bathroom scale this December. In January when the masses begin battling their December weight gain, I’ll tackle my New Orleans and November pounds. Bon Appetite and cheers!