Bah, Humbug!

Ahh, Christmas. I've been having a hard time this year - a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. There are lots of reasons, some I won't go into, some I will - mainly, Daughter # 1 and Wonderful Son-in-Law aren't coming home for the Holidays, but the reasons are myriad. This is the first evening I've been able to prepare for Christmas. Believe it or not - I haven't done any shopping for the holiday, a first for me and probably a big contributor to the reason I'm not in the Holiday spirit, but it hasn't been without its surprises. One of the perks of not shopping has been the lack of frustration at holiday everything - traffic, fellow-shoppers, high prices, lack of merchandise, surly salespeople, (I could go on and on, but I won't).

Tonight as I am making a last-ditch-effort to put some punch and perk into Christmas. I had an epiphany (well, not exactly an epiphany - just a really good insight) into the real spirit of Christmas. Will it surprise anyone to learn that the real spirit of Christmas is love?

I am cooking. Trying to get about fifteen dishes prepared for our annual Christmas Fiesta. While I am cooking my dear husband is cleaning the house for me. The house that has been sorely ignored in the cleaning department for months. I feel really guilty, but he says, "You cook, I'll clean." And he says this in a really nice, loving way - like he doesn't even hate me for being such a horrible housekeeper. His great attitude about cleaning up my household mess leads me to thoughts about love - I know he is cleaning the house because it is his way of expressing his love toward me.

Then I begin thinking about daughter #1, the same daughter who is missing her very first Christmas at home (read: with me!). I may sound like I am complaining about it, but I'm really not. Right this very minute my daughter and son-in-law are on a plane to Ireland where they will spend a glorious holiday together. A much deserved holiday after a gruelling semester in law school for my daughter and a job hit hard by the economy for my son-in-law, who happens to be footing the bill for law school (thank you, thank you, thank you). I imagine them on the airplane, holding hands - looking forward to the fantastic adventure they are about to embark upon. How I envy them. How I celebrate for them. How proud and happy I am for them. And, should they read this - I promise I am not pouting because you are not home for Christmas!

Then I think about daughter #2, embarking on a new relationship and making Christmas memories with THE BOYFRIEND. How exciting to begin traditions that may last a lifetime. How exciting for me that they are in the same town and I only have to share them with the other parents, not an entire foreign country.

Christmas is about love, and about being with the ones you love, and remembering the ones you love and celebrating their adventures and new directions. Christmas is about sharing - sharing the excitement of new horizons and new love and old love. Christmas has finally entered my heart this year and I thank my far-flung daughters and my near-by husband for showing me the way to it.