It's a Dog's Life

I feel much better this morning, much more like myself. I don't know why I let the weather affect me so. Well, I do know why, I just don't know why I can't let it go. Things are much better now. The lady and the man have been very good to me. I've all but forgotten my old life. Almost stopped thinking about the boy. Almost - except when I see a bicycle or when it storms.

On our walks I try to follow the other one. The one who was here before me. She's turned into a good friend. She didn't like me much at first. I think she thought I was trying to take her place. Once we got that out of the way, once I let her prove she was in charge, things were good between us. Now I don't know what I'd do without her. She's older and knows more than I. She's good on our walks. I try to be, but there's just so much to see and smell. And, I'm sorry, but if someone goes by on a bicycle, I do go a little berserk. I always think it's the boy. At first I was sure it was the boy coming back for me. I was sure this had all been a mistake and he hadn't really intended to leave me. What did I do to make him give me away? That thought still troubles me.

Now when I see a bicycle I still go nuts, but it's for a different reason. Now I'm afraid he's come back for me. I no longer want to leave. I really like the lady and the man. And the girl, the girl who comes some days, is my favorite. I know she likes me too. They all like me. I just wish I could get over my fear of storms. I tell myself I am safe. The lady and the man speak softly to me and pat me. They've even made me a special place to hide when I know a storm is coming.

I hear the rumble of thunder and it all comes back to me. The cold rain soaking my skin, the hail coming at me from all directions, bruising my body. The flashes of bright light and the roaring noise. Why won't the boy let me in? I'm afraid. I scratch and scratch on the door and bark for a long time. When he finally comes I am numb from the cold and exhausted from my frenzied efforts to get back into our house where it is warm and dry and quiet. But something is not right. The boy is angry. I try to go in, but he won't let me pass. Another flash of light and more booming noise. I've got to get away from it, but the boy won't let me in. He's yelling now. I can barely hear him over my barking and the pouring rain and the pounding hail and the booming sounds. And then, he did the unimaginable. He kicked me, he kicked me hard - hard enough to send me scooting away from the door. I was stunned. He had never done that before. He closed the door and left me. He'd never done that before either. Not knowing what else to do, I found a place to hide. I tried to hide from the cold and the wet and the noise and the hurt I was feeling in my side and the hurt I was feeling in my heart; but I couldn't. I dug a hole in the mud between the bush and the fence and hid there all night.

I must have done something really bad that day to have brought all of this on myself. That was long ago, but I can't help but recall it when I hear the rumbling of loud noise begin in the distance. I know the lady and the man won't make me go outside when the weather is bad. They've been very kind to me. What frightens me now is thinking I might have done something wrong again. Something that will cause them to leave me like the boy did. When I hear a storm coming I'm afraid I'll lose the lady and the man and the girl I love so much. What would become of me then? All I can imagine is living a life in the cold, wet, loud world if they should send me away. I can't help but tremble and retreat to my special hiding place until the feeling passes, along with the storm. I'm sure glad they understand. When the storm has passed and I have regained my composure I find the nice lady and the nice man to make sure they aren't mad. I lick them and wag my tail and hope they know I'm sorry and that I love them. I think they know.